I just showed Angie a recipe I came across on pinterest for gelatin pinwheels.
I couldn't believe how easy they were to make, and I thought her kids would like them.
As she was looking at the recipe, she questioned the picture at the bottom...
Angie: What is she doing?
Me: She's cutting the roll with floss. That's how you cut cinnamon rolls, too. You know how when you use a knife to cut stuff, it flattens it? With floss or twine, you just put it under the roll, wrap it around and pull tight. Cuts right through. You can garrote someone like that, too.
Angie: What?
Me: Garrotte. You wrap wire or whatever around someone's throat and pull tight. Cuts right through. You cut their throat and strangle them at the same time.
Angie: That's why we keep you around Rach.
Me: Why? So I can teach you how to murder people?
Angie: Well everyone should know these things.
I think I should have my own cooking show. I can dispense kitchen AND hit tips. It'll be EPIC.
I'm sure the Food Network will pick it up in a heartbeat.
Now I just need a good name...
(A/N: For the record, I am not a hitman in my spare time. I just read a lot.)
I heart you. Mixing delicious treats and death is a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm not good at coming up with catchy nick names though. And my dude, who is usually the king of nicknaming everyone and thing is too deep in Skyrim to come up with anything. So you'll get my lame duck attempt. I'm sorry.
*ahem* the Bunslinger (like gunslinger but with baking skills... yes it's a terrible pun...)
maybe a title like all the reality shows that populate television programming now: Mob Chef.
My favorite thanks to Thesaurus.com is the Cutthroat Culinarian
OMG!! I gotta go with thesaurus.com on this one. Love love love it!
DeleteThe Hollandaise Hitter
ReplyDeleteThe Skewer (works for both careers...)
although I have to admit, the Bunslinger above made me snort.
My love for alliteration would usually make The Hollandaise Hitter the automatic choice for me. But there's just something about The Skewer. It's so... sinister. It strikes fear into your heart.
DeleteMost morbid cooking advice EVER.
ReplyDeleteAlso, best cooking advice EVER.